• bevlburns

Trying to be normal

Reality of Smiling Through ..

So I was thinking this site was appearing all doom and gloom. It's really not meant that way at all. I even heard one man say " you all want to be treated as normal so stop winging about stuff". Ouch!

Well, sometimes its just hard to be "normal" and we all do our best to be "normal" with the help of our little pieces of joy, adapted equipment, spaces and toilets. This is what makes it easier for us to be "normal" then we can just get on with it.

The positive thing I can give you from this is that if you look at the issue of the abuse from the other side it really is that the "abuser" really thinks they are helping, standing up for those who "really" need the facilities. So it really is just a matter of education.

I find myself having to explain these things even to those closest to me. Now, the joke of this is that even my other half didn't get it until I got it. Now he is the one insisting I ask for the assistance at airports, to take the use of a wheelchair which I refuse to do until I get to a much worse state. In my mind there are far worse off than me. I know that I walk out at first looking "ok". I can fight hard, however my other half see's that I am almost crawling as the pain is so much I cannot bare it, the pain sweat running off me, the laboured breathing with every step. But I refuse as I can ruddy well do this! He tells me I must accept my condition and the assistance I now need. I still refuse. As "I'm fine" as I Smile through the nausea of it all.

What gets me is that I know my pain threshold is ridiculously high. I was stung by a bee/wasp one day at a local park and I said to my friend. Oh I think I've just been stung. He reply, "don't be silly you'd be screaming". I said to her I even thought it was still hanging out of me and could she check. To her complete horror there was the stinging creature. Hanging out of my skin. Arghh, get a hanky, I'll pull it out, are you ok? OMG that must be so painful, what can I do? Are you ok? All as I stood laughing saying I was fine, it was just a nip.

That just made me realise the levels of pain I'm living with are way above a normal everyday pain. So everyday is fighting through a fog so grab the good bits when you can and hopefully we can make change, so we don't have to winge, not that I'd say we do. We fight for what is right.

Stay strong and keep #Smilingthrough Bev x

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